Divorce can be difficult for everyone involved, but it can be especially confusing for your child. Guiding your child through the process is essential. Helping them understand what is happening might help reduce their anxiety and prevent self-blame.
How does honest communication help your child?
Though it might feel safer to avoid discussing divorce with your child, leaving them in the dark could do more harm than good. Honesty is often the better approach. When you are open with your child, they may have an easier time adjusting to the changes that divorce typically brings.
You may want to sit down with your child in a calm and safe environment and tell them that you and your co-parent will no longer be living together. It could help to explain the situation in simple terms that your child can understand. Reassuring them and letting them know they are still loved could also be helpful.
It might help to explain key changes in their daily lives and how the divorce might affect them. It might be best to avoid blaming the other parent and reassure the child that the divorce is not their fault.
What should you tell your child?
During the divorce, your child will likely ask many questions about the future. Your child will want to know where they will live, which school they will go to and how often they may see each parent.
In New York, custody and parenting time decisions are based on the child’s best interests. While some families reach an agreement that a court approves, a court order typically makes custody and parenting time enforceable. You can still reassure your child that you plan to remain an active part of their life.
It may be beneficial to discuss your child’s living arrangements, holiday schedules and how birthdays will be celebrated. This could help reduce uncertainty and give them a stronger sense of stability during a time full of uncertainty.
Preparing for the future
Though a divorce is generally stressful and uncertain, being honest with your child could help them process it. By encouraging them to ask questions and express their feelings, you and the other parent may have an easier time addressing their fears.