Fighting can be cathartic. Winning can seem worth it, which means that some divorcees believe that a drawn-out litigious divorce is the goal. They believe they should fight for every dollar, tooth and nail. However, in practice, divorce litigation is expensive, and every dollar that goes into that litigation is taken out of the marital estate. This reduces the amount that will be split. That is a no-win situation.
The first major pain point is the couple’s children. Even if one spouse believes they are the better (or, even, much better) parent, the goal should always be joint-custody, to crate a co-parenting relationship. Divorce can be difficult and painful on the children, and when parents use them as pawns, it makes the divorce process even more traumatic. Work together to make the divorce process as easy as possible on the children.
Another major pain point that can cause divorce litigation is social media posts that feature the divorce process or the soon-to-be ex-spouse. These posts, even if innocuous, can fan the flames of emotional turmoil during divorce, when that is the exact opposite of what is needed. Remember, everything should be aimed at an amicable split.
Choose a different divorce process
Divorcing couples can avoid litigation all together by choosing to use an alternative dispute resolution process, like mediation. Mediation can be a lower-stress and amicable process where everyone involved has the goal of reaching an amicable solution for both spouses.
A community of positivity
When going through the divorce process, it is important to surround oneself with positive influences. This may mean purging those negative friends and influences to ensure a positive divorce process and co-parenting relationship. But, the alternative is a dramatic, costly and harmful marriage dissolution and co-parenting process.
It gets better
For those in Long Island, New York (in both Suffolk and Nassau Counties), an amicable divorce and co-parenting relationship may seem impossible. However, as time progresses, it gets easier.